Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Snow is falling. Softly, yet determinedly. It has been so since last night. We had a snow day here today and, according to the recorded message left on my cell phone a little while ago, are having another one tomorrow. Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday. She is turning 18 and wants to do all the things one can legally do when they turn 18. Where we live, that is pretty much limited to registering to vote and buying lottery tickets. Next year she will be able to buy cigarettes and when she is 21, she can buy herself a drink. Or maybe I will.
I remember when I turned 18. That birthday, I heard my first lecture at a Unification Church Center (read 'Moonie') outside Philadelphia. 1973, it was. I stayed involved for many years, really until just a few years ago. Did the mass wedding thing and all. It was an interesting and different life to be sure. I have no regrets, really, I don't. Although I never loved my husband of 27 years (we were strangers, matched by the good Reverend in 1979), we did become friends and had five kids who I consider lucky to have us as parents.
For the last eight years or so, I have gradually weaned myself away from the Moon church and all its trappings. Partly because I came to think it was all wrong, but also because I could no longer stand to live a huge lie.
I am gay.
In the Moon church, this is the worst possible thing to be. I fought it in myself for, really, my whole adult life. No more.
I have found what I feel is a true love. She is an aquaintance-turned-friend-turned-lover. I am over the moon (pun intended) about it. There's lots to tell, possibly in random order, I'm just warning you in advance.

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